I knew Zack would leave. It was only a matter of time. Everyone I’d ever cared about had left me. I was in love with Zack and I wasn’t ready for it to end. I kept my secret because I wanted to hold onto him as long as I could.
But, when Zack found out I was pregnant, and the baby wasn’t his, he became someone I didn’t know. I’d never seen such rage. He wouldn’t listen to me. He wasn’t interested in the truth. I packed my bags and left. I didn’t need him, but I still wanted him. I still loved him. There was something seriously wrong with me.
Now that he was gone, I felt more alone than ever. I had dreamed that Zack could love both the baby and me. That somehow, we could make a family of three. That dream had shattered along with my heart, and now it was up to me to make a life for us. I was determined to do it on my own.
Clarissa destroyed me in a matter of seconds. That’s how long it took for her to admit the baby she was carrying wasn’t mine. I destroyed her just as badly with my temper and my words. I left her crying and kicked her out of my apartment without a second thought.
I wished I could get her out of my mind as easily as I got her out of my apartment. I hated what she had done, but I couldn’t stop loving her. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t stop worrying about her. She was so far under my skin, she was a part of me. She’d tattooed my heart.
Nothing about this situation made sense. I gave her everything a woman could want, but it wasn’t enough. There had to be something more. Something I was missing. I needed the truth. I needed closure to move on. What I didn’t know was the truth, would make things more complicated than the lies I believed. I loved her, but I wasn’t sure I could be a father to her child. If I waited too long to decide, I risked losing Clarissa forever.
Only one thing was for sure… we weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.